It’s probably true that cutting off the end would improve the poem. The ending isn’t exactly what I want it to be and I keep changing it. But I feel strongly that the poem needs a “third act” as it were, something that goes beyond the premise, or something. I just haven’t found the right ending yet. And I definitely shouldn’t have included the pictures. A simple clean design using only words would have allowed the poem to speak for itself more… but the desire to include images is very great. I will probably never learn this lesson.
I'm terrible at learning lessons in this regard myself, and I have a hard time with advice. So I'm not sure why I offered it, really, and I hope it didn't come off as presumptuous. I really do like the poem. Your work always gives more than it asks.
I like it, but I'd end it with the list of names -- last line: "Timothée Chalamet, and Scott Glenn."
It’s probably true that cutting off the end would improve the poem. The ending isn’t exactly what I want it to be and I keep changing it. But I feel strongly that the poem needs a “third act” as it were, something that goes beyond the premise, or something. I just haven’t found the right ending yet. And I definitely shouldn’t have included the pictures. A simple clean design using only words would have allowed the poem to speak for itself more… but the desire to include images is very great. I will probably never learn this lesson.
I'm terrible at learning lessons in this regard myself, and I have a hard time with advice. So I'm not sure why I offered it, really, and I hope it didn't come off as presumptuous. I really do like the poem. Your work always gives more than it asks.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
🗿❤️